It’s Fine, I’m Fine, Everything Is Fine, Just Fine

How many times have you said this and not meant one. single. word?

Lately. More than ever I have been talking to people about the long term prognosis of our current COVID state, and I have not spoken to ONE person who is loving their job at the moment and it’s worrying. Everyone is tired, sometimes exhausted and the things that used to give us a break  – the commute, the time in the office, business travel, lunch or dinner after work with colleagues and clients, are all a distant memory. Did you ever think you would miss chatty Kathy from HR talking about her cat? 🙂

If you work and do not feel like this, please let me know, I would love to know the secret to your success and potentially share it with everyone on this email list so we can all benefit. Seriously, let me know – you are a rare breed!

You don’t have to be in a paying job to not love your ‘job’ at the moment; there are millions of unpaid, stay at home people out there who’s life has taken a turn for the worse since COVID came on the scene.  Now, don’t get me wrong, we are (probably/hopefully) not working 2 miles under ground in a coal mine, or being held against our will as forced labor but things can still feel tough. I often tell myself to shut up when I hear myself complaining and remind myself that things could be <<so>> much worse. But because we don’t work in the worst conditions, does this mean we can’t allow ourselves to feel sorrow or feel sorry for ourselves every now and again? 

I LOVE my job, I love what I do, but man, it’s hard yards at the moment. Every time I plan a class I have so many things/guidelines/rules/people to take into consideration. Long gone are the easy times when we could huddle together as a group, laughing gregariously while sharing equipment. 

I have to consider other peoples’ perceptions, those attending my classes and the ones watching from the sidelines. I need to make sure everything is above board and in order. Oh, the days when we used to be able to move around the island setting up class (almost) wherever we fancied with such ease; whereas now we are limited to a couple of venues, out of view from many and away from judging eyes.   

So many rules, so many judgements, so much so that over time it takes a toll, and dare I say it, it takes much of the fun out of my job. Yet, exercise, camaraderie, laughter, connection and a sense of belonging are some of the most important things we should have in our lives right now.  As humans we need all of the above and COVID is doing it’s best to strip us of what we need most.

The long term effects of this (I feel) are a low level depression settling in for many. If this is true, how does this manifest itself?

I am (obviously) not an expert in this area so I started digging around to see who was saying what, and to see if I was actually correct in my assumptions. Unfortunately, it appears I am right. Here is an excellent article from the Mayo Clinic and worth a read.  

It’s OK to not be OK. Talking about how you feel with friends or family, and having a laugh about the fact you’re feeling grumpy, tired or short tempered is often a great way to lift yourself out of the emotional dip you may be experiencing. I’ve tried it and it works! Owning up to the fact you’ve had enough or can’t be bothered because life is too hard can often spur you into action. 

When I trained to be a life coach we were taught how to identify and shift people’s energy levels, the lowest level, level one is that of a victim: you will hear them say…
‘It’s not my fault, everyone has it in for me, feel sorry for me, I feel sorry for myself’.
These people sit in victim mode and don’t do anything other than feel sorry for themselves.  

Level two is one of anger.
‘I’ve had enough of this cr*p, I’m not taking this from my boss/friend etc. any more. I won’t let this happen to me again, I don’t deserve this’.
This the first step to action and somewhere I may take my client to move them from inaction to action. Yes, I would purposefully make my client get angry with a situation so they would own it and change it.

Think about it… when you can’t take something anymore in general, you change your situation, mindset or both to move out of the situation.  

So perhaps next time you’re feeling shitty you can be the ‘victim’ and wallow in self pity OR you can get angry and do something about it, like have a laugh with a friend (thank you Ginny and Christopher!).

Next time you say IT’S FINE, I’M FINE, EVERYTHING IS FINE, JUST FINE you know what to do.  

Zoë x